It’s made me a terrible friend. I’ve spent the last six years pouring every waking moment into building this business, into learning as much as I possibly could about how to make it`grow and succeed. I’ve sacrificed sleep, sanity, questioned my self-worth and value, felt my self-esteem rollercoaster in accordance with the amount of money the business was bringing in, and swing back and forth between being sure that this is what I’m supposed to be doing with my life and wondering what the fuck I was thinking in the first place.
This journey has taken me into the depths of myself personally and spiritually, which has only been exacerbated by the periods of geographical isolation. It’s been both very dark and very bright at times.
Back in college, I had hours of sitting in Seattle traffic to talk on the phone with friends and family every day. Once I made that first overseas move 9 time zones away with shitty internet and no phone access, that all changed. I got used to rarely being able to talk to anyone. When the next overseas move lasted 4 years, communication had to be scheduled or it pretty much never happened.
Combining this with the transition to working for myself from home, I lost the need to reach out, to touch base, to catch up. My mind was completely consumed with all things business; learning, developing, producing. All I cared about was moving forward, accomplishing, succeeding at this venture. There was so much swimming around in my brain I didn’t even know what I would talk about with anyone anyway.
While I think about all the people I love and care about literally daily, I know you aren’t psychic, and you don’t know that I think about you constantly. And while I don’t personally need regular communication with others, I know that isn’t necessarily true for you.
So if you’re one of those that I’ve fallen out of touch with over the years and you have sadness about it, please know that it’s nowhere near personal, and I think about you all the time. I care about you, I care how you’re doing, and I’m always sending you love. So much love. And while I might not make the call, I will always answer the call. Unless I’m on the other side of the planet and it’s sleepy time of course. 😉
I love you!
